Saturday, November 26, 2005

Turkey Day Comes and Goes

I ended up going to a buffet with Harry on Thursday, and I'd say our modest Thanksgiving dinner was a success. My parents think I'm going out of my way to prove my independence, but I really just didn't want to sit on a bus for half-a-million hours.

We were joined at the buffet with a varied group of people, it wasn't until I saw a kid puking in his desert that going there had been a mistake. Next year, if I'm not with family, I think I'm going to volunteer at a soup kitchen, anything is better then this sleazy buffet.

The day off from work on Friday was nice, I wandered to the mall again, and it was very much a mistake. I saw multiple fist fights over various things such as $349 dollar laptops, and the last spindle of $2.99 CD-Rs. I intervened on the CD-Rs, and was promptly hissed at by a middle-aged woman who smelled of Elizabeth Taylor's new fragrance, or, I'd like to refer to as, vodka and death. This woman was clearly trying too hard, and I'm not referring to her bargain hunting, she must have been 45 and was wearing painted on jeans and fleshy dark purple for lipstick, outlined by a darker shade. Not sure she needed the outline. Not sure I needed to be there.

Monday, November 21, 2005

Happy Giving Thanks

I was late for work again! I need to get my car fixed but I just can't afford to...so until then, I will continue to miss the bus, and continue to show up late.

I'm not going home for Thanksgiving, much to the dismay of my parents. It's just a pain in the butt to get to upstate NY without my car, and I just don't want to sit in a bus for years. Is Turkey and stuffing that worth it?

I might cook my own fancy feast.

Right...

New Hello Simon Episode is gonna be good this week! The longest one so far clocking in at over 3 minutes!

Thursday, November 17, 2005

I'm in Good Spirits

Fighting off the disapproving calls from dear Mother and Father, I've nursed myself to better health. Though, appeared a stain on a string of good luck.

I buried Richard in my front yard. Why the front yard? I ask you, why not! I'm not ashamed of him, he deserves a good view of passerybyers, and his plot to be fertilized by passing doggies (scoop your poop dear dog walkers, though nothing says I love you like a nice meat-ANYWAYS).

I discovered, poor Richard's crypt to be robbed! The list of suspects are short, and on the top of that list, Peter, the neighbors evil cat. Richard's desecrated grave shalt not prevent a positive memory of his company, and, I assure you, the sick grave robbers shall be brought to justice.

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Hello Simon Episode 2

Hello!

I'm happy to inform you that now that I'm getting better, I found the strength to sign online, and upload Episode 2!

Please enjoy, with our compliments!

Friday, November 11, 2005

Like Frankenstein, I'm alive.

There is a certain species of sea animal, the cucumber, that in defense, blows out its insides, and runs away. I feel very similar to this sea creature, for I blew my insides from every orifice, and strangely enough, ran and hid. None of this was done in defense...scratch that, it was a sort of defense, defense from an invading virus, seeking to ruin my life. Which it did.

I'm slowly getting better, and I've missed seven days worth of work.

On another note, I've added the following phrases to words that bother me:

"Give me a buzz"
"Something's going around"
and the gurgling noise my stomach makes just before evacuation. For those who don't know what I mean by that, be thankful.

Hello Simon.

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

I'm so ill

I've never been more ill in my life, and I don't mean ill in the slang way, I mean ill, as in, on my deathbed.

Ok, I'm not on my deathbed, but I'm very sick. I haven't been to work since last Friday, and I keep repeating the words "kill me now."

Note to self, need to find job with health insurance.

Friday, November 04, 2005

RIP Richard

So the first episode is up! Went up on Wednesday, and so far people have liked it. I think this is going to be really fun, what me and Harry are doing is taking real things that happen to me, and shooting video, and making "episodes," for them.

To answer what people asked, yes, my bird did pass, he is currently buried in my backyard.

I'm home sick today, I don't know if I'm actually sick, or just sick and tired (Now we know where that term came from right), and I need a boost of energy terribly.

but I'm glad people like it, the next episode will be out next week!!